Crying can be so good for us. Tears can release the toxins from our body and can heal the sadness which caused them in the first place. If we hold in these tears and don't cry then the toxins build up in our body and show up in other ways, like an illness. Sometimes we just feel sad but don't know why and we're all so busy we don't have time to be with our sadness. That's why a good, sad book or movie can be so cathartic. They can give us a good cry and and we feel good afterwards.
There is one movie that I love to watch when I'm feeling down, and I always feel so much better after I watch it. It's not a very well known movie called Bagdad Cafe, and yes, that is the correct spelling. It takes place at a truck stop near Las Vegas, in the middle of the desert. It's the story of friendship between two women, an earthy black woman played by CCH Pounder and a simple German tourist played by Marianne Sagebrecht, two least likely friends you'll never find.
Each time I watch this movie I get more from it, and it makes me feel better and better. The first thing I notice is the hauntingly beautiful song, "Calling You". For a long time whenever I heard it I felt like I was calling to a close female friend that I hadn't met yet. After I got divorced I thought the song was calling to a new life partner. Most recently I've not only gone back to feeling that the song was calling to a close female friend, but also felt that it was calling to a part of myself that I have been ignoring for a long time, my higher self, my intuitive self. As I write this I am hearing the song in my head calling to God, and my connection with Him. So many alternatives and I haven't even gotten past the song yet!
Bagdad Cafe begins with the German woman and her husband at a picnic table in the desert finishing up after a meal. They are angry with each other and after backing up into a post the trunk pops open and the woman gets out of the car, gets one of the suitcases out, and starts walking through the desert sand in her pumps. The man angrily drives off. The image of that large woman in her suit jacket and skirt, stoically tromping through the desert is etched in my mind. Here is a woman in a strange country where she hardly speaks the language having the courage to leave her husband and take her life into her own hands and I can't help but admire her.
The woman ends up a truck stop owned by the CCH Pounder character. She walks into the dishevelled office and asks for a room. The owner is immediately suspicious of someone who seemedly materialized out of the desert. The German woman goes to her room, opens her suitcase, and discovers that she grabbed the wrong suitcase and she has her husband's clothes. Instead of getting upset, she goes with the flow and dresses in her husband's pants and shirt, and when she does so her femininity is more apparent than when she wore her own suit. I saw that when a woman knows who she is it doesn't matter what she is wearing, her true beauty shines through.
The woman then walks over to the cafe and takes a seat that she will habituate from then on. She sits very primly and properly in the worn down cafe looking very out of place. I know I would have felt quite uncomfortable in the same situation, but she holds her head high and orders her coffee which she has no problem in correcting to her own taste when the coffee she receives tastes like "brown water". She attracts the attention of an old gentleman played by Jack Palance who says he wants to paint her. This begins a series of paintings he does of her, beginning with a portrait in her husband's shirt, collar done all the way up, holding a rose. In the next portrait she undoes the top few shirt buttons. In the next she slowly takes one side of the shirt and pulls it all the way down exposing one breast. And finally in the last portrait her shirt is off all together. I see this progression as a stripping away of external trappings of civilization as she frees herself from her husband's clothing.
Another progression is when she finds a magic kit in her husband's suitcase. She doesn't have much to do so she begins to learn the basic magic tricks in the box. She learns how to pull a coin out of a person's ear, and whenever she does so she says, "Magic". Her tricks gradually become more and more sophisticated until she is putting on a magic show in the cafe with the assistance of the other woman. The truck stop gets busier and busier as the word spreads of the magic show rivaling those of neighbouring Las Vegas. The once almost deserted truck stop becomes a busy and popular place for truckers. Again I am taken with how confident this woman is in her own ability, even though she's so far from home and in a place with people she doesn't know and who originally didn't even like her much due to their distrust of the new and unfamiliar. While I would like to identify with this amazing German woman, I am afraid that in the past I have been more like the owner of Bagdad Cafe, distrustful and scared of the unfamiliar. My journey of self growth has seen me become more like this large, strong German woman. The biggest change has come with feeling comfortable in my own skin, physically, emotionally, and intellectually.
The owner of the truck stop has also just told her husband to leave, and is on her own. She does not like change, so when she comes back to her office after being in town for the day, she is very upset to find her disarrayed office tidied up and cleaned. When she yells at her German guest for touching her things the other woman begins to put the mess back. The owner stops her and tells her to leave it. I've wondered what changed her mind. Perhaps she has always wanted the order and cleanliness under the mess but didn't know where to start. Perhaps her knee jerk reaction of yelling at anyone who would touch her things was tempered by the awareness that the cleaning was done from a place of genuine service and love. So later when her daughter sits at her desk with her feet up on it she gets mad and pushes her feet off. Gradually these acts of kindness wear down the distrust of the owner and she learns to trust and love this strange woman as they become close friends despite their differences. Every time I see this movie I long for a friendship like this, one that sees beyond the differences and is based on service and love. As I look around at my life I see that I do have friends like this, and am so grateful for each and every one.
After some time the sheriff discovers that the new woman is there on a tourist visa which had long since run out and she had to return to Germany. The two woman say goodbye and one goes back to Germany, the other stays at the cafe. Even after some time the latter's office is still clean, and I wonder if it is in honour of her distant friend or if she found that the new office was nicer and more efficient than the old one. I think it's a bit of both. Sadly, with the German woman's magic show gone the cafe goes back to its nearly deserted state. A trucker goes in and sees the silence which is palpable, and asks what happened to the magic. "Gone" is the one word response. That's when I realized that the magic show wasn't the real magic, the real magic was the women themselves. It was their friendship and their finding of their own independence and inner strength and beauty. We each hold the magic within ourselves.
That's what I ultimately take away from this movie, we each hold the magic within ourselves. For each of us the magic looks different, it might be an inner beauty that radiates out for all to see, or it could be the love and service that we have for others. For me, I have found a place of service within myself that I am learning to share with my practicum that I'm currently doing for my facilitator/leadership training. I'm enjoying sharing my service from a place of intuition and love.
And speaking of finding our own magic, I'm going to be attending a mini workshop on October 24 in Calgary called Sex, Love and Intimacy. I think it sounds like a good place to find my magic. If you'd like to join me the contact information is Samantha Berry, 403-813-2552, samlynn@shaw.ca or Debbi Ree-Galle, 780-876-3011, discoveryou@gpwins.ca. My wish for all of you is to find your magic.
Infinite Possibilities,
Barbara Scott
403-874-2673
barb_scott_bc@yahoo.com
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Intuition
What is intuition? I've thought about this quite a bit since intuition plays such a large part in the facilitation that I am training to do. Wikipedia defines intuition as "the ability to acquire knowledge without inference or the use of reason." A second definition that Wikipedia mentions is that "intuition is regarded as a conscious commonality between earthly knowledge and the higher spiritual knowledge." So what does all this mean for us, what does it mean for me as a facilitator-in-training?
I believe that intuition is the acquiring of knowledge through quieting my own thoughts and listening to the Spirit which is greater than us all. When I am able to quiet my thoughts it is amazing to me what comes through. The hardest part for me is to still my own thoughts. Sometimes my head is filled with so many thoughts they race around my head blocking any intuition that I might have. We've been brought up to be thinking, rationalizing human beings, and this has served us well up to a point. Now I'm ready to take things to the next level.
As children we were naturally intuitive beings. We did and said what came to us. We didn't spend a lot of time thinking things over and rationalizing what to do. We didn't use reason before deciding what to say or not say. We didn't lay awake at night unable to sleep because of all the thoughts of the day running through our heads and figuring out what we would do tomorrow. We were open to whatever came to us and acted accordingly. We were free and happy and trusted our intuition without question.
As a facilitator-in-training part of what I have been learning to do is get in touch with the intuitive part of myself again. We all have it, some of us are just more connected to our intuition than others. When I am able to still my own thoughts, those questioning, doubting thoughts, I am able to hear the clear intuition that comes directly from Spirit. That's how I'm able to tell the difference between my own thoughts and those coming from the Spirit which is bigger than us all. When a thought is coming from my own head it tends to question itself. I wonder if it's true, should I or shouldn't I, do I speak or not. But when I listen to my intuition it comes through clear and strong. I have no doubt, no questions, about whether or not what I am thinking is right. When I am training to be a facilitator and something comes through clearly three times I know it is for me to speak because it is coming from Spirit and Spirit will keep telling me something until I am willing to hear it. So my facilitation-in-training is based on intuition because that way I know I am not putting forth my own ideas onto anyone. I am simply being the conduit through which Spirit speaks. I am proud to claim that I am an intuitive person.
Infinite possibilities,
Barbara Scott
barb_scott_bc@yahoo.com
I believe that intuition is the acquiring of knowledge through quieting my own thoughts and listening to the Spirit which is greater than us all. When I am able to quiet my thoughts it is amazing to me what comes through. The hardest part for me is to still my own thoughts. Sometimes my head is filled with so many thoughts they race around my head blocking any intuition that I might have. We've been brought up to be thinking, rationalizing human beings, and this has served us well up to a point. Now I'm ready to take things to the next level.
As children we were naturally intuitive beings. We did and said what came to us. We didn't spend a lot of time thinking things over and rationalizing what to do. We didn't use reason before deciding what to say or not say. We didn't lay awake at night unable to sleep because of all the thoughts of the day running through our heads and figuring out what we would do tomorrow. We were open to whatever came to us and acted accordingly. We were free and happy and trusted our intuition without question.
As a facilitator-in-training part of what I have been learning to do is get in touch with the intuitive part of myself again. We all have it, some of us are just more connected to our intuition than others. When I am able to still my own thoughts, those questioning, doubting thoughts, I am able to hear the clear intuition that comes directly from Spirit. That's how I'm able to tell the difference between my own thoughts and those coming from the Spirit which is bigger than us all. When a thought is coming from my own head it tends to question itself. I wonder if it's true, should I or shouldn't I, do I speak or not. But when I listen to my intuition it comes through clear and strong. I have no doubt, no questions, about whether or not what I am thinking is right. When I am training to be a facilitator and something comes through clearly three times I know it is for me to speak because it is coming from Spirit and Spirit will keep telling me something until I am willing to hear it. So my facilitation-in-training is based on intuition because that way I know I am not putting forth my own ideas onto anyone. I am simply being the conduit through which Spirit speaks. I am proud to claim that I am an intuitive person.
Infinite possibilities,
Barbara Scott
barb_scott_bc@yahoo.com
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Living with Chronic Pain
I have trigeminal neuralgia and have had it for five years now. The trigeminal nerve goes from the back of the head, up and over and to the face, splitting into three. One branch goes down the forehead, one across the face to the nose, and one along the jaw. There's a trigeminal nerve on each side of the head. Only the nerve on the left side of my head is affected, but it keeps me in constant pain. Sometimes it feels like a spike going up through my jaws. Other times my forehead hurts so much it goes behind my eye and I can hardly see. At times my cheek and nose are so sensitive that a breeze causes me intense pain.
Why am I telling you these things? I want to tell you how I have learned to live with my pain. It started quite suddenly and doctor after doctor couldn't tell me what was causing my pain. They kept giving me medications which didn't do much for the pain but did make me feel very dopey and made me gain weight. Any activity made my pain worse so I ended up sitting on the couch not being able to do much of anything, and even talking was slurred through the medications. I had to stop working. I got more and more depressed until finally I just wanted it to stop. I drank a bottle of wine down very quickly while on large amounts of medication. Unfortunately I lost consciousness and my children couldn't rouse me, so they called my sister who came and took me to the hospital. The hospital admitted me with clinical depression and there I stayed for the next six weeks.
While in the hospital I took some classes to help me deal with my depression. I also got a psychiatrist who was the first person on my wellness team. As I progressed through the classes I became determined to get everything I could from them so that I would never end up in the hospital again. And while in the hospital I got on the waiting list for the Chronic Pain Clinic. When I got out of the hospital I continued going to classes held at the hospital to help those with depression. In one of the classes a yoga instructor was brought in. I found yoga to be very relaxing and when I was relaxed my neuralgia hurt me less. So when I got out of the hospital I found a local therapeutic yoga class which I began attending and soon I added my yoga instructor to my wellness team. And while still in the hospital my sister told me about a chiropractor who had helped her friend with her chronic pain, so as soon as I was released I went to see him. The relief he gave me from my pain meant that he also became part of my wellness team.
When I was released from the hospital I realized that while the medication might help to a degree it certainly did not help enough all by itself for me to lead a normal life. I decided that I had to start taking some alternative measures. When I was at the chiropractor's I noticed that there was an acupuncturist there as well. I gave him a try and found that I did get some temporary relief from my pain, so I added him to my wellness team. About this time a friend of mine who does facilitation started doing some sessions with me.
With all the additional support I was now receiving I was able to go back to work part time. I didn't stop going to my doctor or taking my medications, although I was now taking a lot less. Less medication meant I was talking and thinking much clearer. I was also able to join an exercise class for people with chronic conditions. The more I did the more I was able to do.
At this point in my life I am still living with trigeminal neuralgia and chronic pain, but the difference in my life from five years ago to today is like night and day. I can clean my own house, albeit a bit at a time. I can go to work for a couple of hours at a time. I can walk my dogs. I can go for coffee with my friends. I feel so much more normal now even though I live with constant pain. I've learned to manage it so much better that I am now a proper mother to my children and am a much happier person. I'm not worried about ending up back in the hospital with clinical depression again. I have kept everyone on my wellness team and am grateful for each one.
By taking matters into my own hands I am living again. There's no need to suffer with chronic pain. You can truly live and be happy. As a facilitator-in-training I wish to pass on to others the freedom that I have found from the pain prison. I wish you all the happiness and the ability to live every moment of your life
Infinite Possibilities,
Barbara Scott
barb_scott_bc@yahoo.com
Why am I telling you these things? I want to tell you how I have learned to live with my pain. It started quite suddenly and doctor after doctor couldn't tell me what was causing my pain. They kept giving me medications which didn't do much for the pain but did make me feel very dopey and made me gain weight. Any activity made my pain worse so I ended up sitting on the couch not being able to do much of anything, and even talking was slurred through the medications. I had to stop working. I got more and more depressed until finally I just wanted it to stop. I drank a bottle of wine down very quickly while on large amounts of medication. Unfortunately I lost consciousness and my children couldn't rouse me, so they called my sister who came and took me to the hospital. The hospital admitted me with clinical depression and there I stayed for the next six weeks.
While in the hospital I took some classes to help me deal with my depression. I also got a psychiatrist who was the first person on my wellness team. As I progressed through the classes I became determined to get everything I could from them so that I would never end up in the hospital again. And while in the hospital I got on the waiting list for the Chronic Pain Clinic. When I got out of the hospital I continued going to classes held at the hospital to help those with depression. In one of the classes a yoga instructor was brought in. I found yoga to be very relaxing and when I was relaxed my neuralgia hurt me less. So when I got out of the hospital I found a local therapeutic yoga class which I began attending and soon I added my yoga instructor to my wellness team. And while still in the hospital my sister told me about a chiropractor who had helped her friend with her chronic pain, so as soon as I was released I went to see him. The relief he gave me from my pain meant that he also became part of my wellness team.
When I was released from the hospital I realized that while the medication might help to a degree it certainly did not help enough all by itself for me to lead a normal life. I decided that I had to start taking some alternative measures. When I was at the chiropractor's I noticed that there was an acupuncturist there as well. I gave him a try and found that I did get some temporary relief from my pain, so I added him to my wellness team. About this time a friend of mine who does facilitation started doing some sessions with me.
With all the additional support I was now receiving I was able to go back to work part time. I didn't stop going to my doctor or taking my medications, although I was now taking a lot less. Less medication meant I was talking and thinking much clearer. I was also able to join an exercise class for people with chronic conditions. The more I did the more I was able to do.
At this point in my life I am still living with trigeminal neuralgia and chronic pain, but the difference in my life from five years ago to today is like night and day. I can clean my own house, albeit a bit at a time. I can go to work for a couple of hours at a time. I can walk my dogs. I can go for coffee with my friends. I feel so much more normal now even though I live with constant pain. I've learned to manage it so much better that I am now a proper mother to my children and am a much happier person. I'm not worried about ending up back in the hospital with clinical depression again. I have kept everyone on my wellness team and am grateful for each one.
By taking matters into my own hands I am living again. There's no need to suffer with chronic pain. You can truly live and be happy. As a facilitator-in-training I wish to pass on to others the freedom that I have found from the pain prison. I wish you all the happiness and the ability to live every moment of your life
Infinite Possibilities,
Barbara Scott
barb_scott_bc@yahoo.com
Friday, August 26, 2011
Success
I was watching a movie yesterday called "Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?" It's an old movie, made in 1957 starring Jayne Mansfield, Tony Randall, Joan Blondell and Betsy Drake about a tv adman who persuades a Hollywood sexpot to endorse a lipstick. It was a pretty typical 1950's movie until Tony Randall spoke this line, "Success is the art of being happy." Those words made me stop dead in my tracks.
For so many of us success is all about money or prestige or power. I know for myself money has definitely played a role in whether or not I've felt successful. I have felt in a place of lack when it comes to money. I have been on disability for so long because of my trigeminal neuralgia and my constant pain, so I have not been able to work full time because it causes my pain to be worse; therefore, I haven't felt very successful when it comes to not only money but also work. Then of course there's health, being in pain means that I have felt very unsuccessful in staying healthy.
When it comes to my family there are so many times when I have felt unsuccessful. I have dealt with my son's Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder for 21 years now and have felt out of control much of the time. He gets into trouble again and again, and I mean big trouble. For a while there our house was well known to the police and we knew many of them by name. I have not been proud of this fact although there have been many times when I have been very proud of my son. Then when I combine money with family, I haven't been able to get my children many of the things I'd like to because I haven't been able to afford them. I feel so badly about this and very unsuccessful.
I could go on and on about all the areas of my life in which I have felt unsuccessful. But the fact is, I am happy. I have two great children whom I love and who love me, I have many very good friends who care for me. I have a nice home and live in a lovely city. The list of things that I'm grateful for is very long and I really am happy. So when I heard that line, "Success is the art of being happy" I was taken aback. It means that because I am happy I am successful. Wow! That's huge. I am successful.
Next I looked as the word "art". I've never thought about being happy as an art. So when I take the time to think about people who are truly happy I see that it's not what you have or what you've accomplished that makes a person happy. There are people who seem to have nothing, yet are always happy. Then there are those who have everything yet always seem angry. I think being happy is about how well you know yourself and about your connection with that which is greater. It is a positive state of mind being open to all, seeing the good and the lessons in everything that happens. Learning and being willing to grow in all areas is a life long pursuit and definitely an art. So now I can see how being happy is an art.
When you're thinking you don't have much, that you're only seeing your areas of lack, take a look at your personal development and your connection to that which is greater and how happy you are in your growth and development. Change your thinking from one of lack to one of abundance. Be grateful for that list of things that makes you happy, and how long that list is. When you wonder if you are a success or not take a look at how happy you are, and remember that "success is the art of being happy."
For so many of us success is all about money or prestige or power. I know for myself money has definitely played a role in whether or not I've felt successful. I have felt in a place of lack when it comes to money. I have been on disability for so long because of my trigeminal neuralgia and my constant pain, so I have not been able to work full time because it causes my pain to be worse; therefore, I haven't felt very successful when it comes to not only money but also work. Then of course there's health, being in pain means that I have felt very unsuccessful in staying healthy.
When it comes to my family there are so many times when I have felt unsuccessful. I have dealt with my son's Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder for 21 years now and have felt out of control much of the time. He gets into trouble again and again, and I mean big trouble. For a while there our house was well known to the police and we knew many of them by name. I have not been proud of this fact although there have been many times when I have been very proud of my son. Then when I combine money with family, I haven't been able to get my children many of the things I'd like to because I haven't been able to afford them. I feel so badly about this and very unsuccessful.
I could go on and on about all the areas of my life in which I have felt unsuccessful. But the fact is, I am happy. I have two great children whom I love and who love me, I have many very good friends who care for me. I have a nice home and live in a lovely city. The list of things that I'm grateful for is very long and I really am happy. So when I heard that line, "Success is the art of being happy" I was taken aback. It means that because I am happy I am successful. Wow! That's huge. I am successful.
Next I looked as the word "art". I've never thought about being happy as an art. So when I take the time to think about people who are truly happy I see that it's not what you have or what you've accomplished that makes a person happy. There are people who seem to have nothing, yet are always happy. Then there are those who have everything yet always seem angry. I think being happy is about how well you know yourself and about your connection with that which is greater. It is a positive state of mind being open to all, seeing the good and the lessons in everything that happens. Learning and being willing to grow in all areas is a life long pursuit and definitely an art. So now I can see how being happy is an art.
When you're thinking you don't have much, that you're only seeing your areas of lack, take a look at your personal development and your connection to that which is greater and how happy you are in your growth and development. Change your thinking from one of lack to one of abundance. Be grateful for that list of things that makes you happy, and how long that list is. When you wonder if you are a success or not take a look at how happy you are, and remember that "success is the art of being happy."
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The Value of Animals
I am an animal lover and if I could I would rescue them all. I know that I have a lot to give to animals, a warm, safe home, good food, good vet care, and lots of love. So I rescued two retired racing greyhounds and four cats. Well, technically my daughter rescued the cats. She regularly came home with a kitten that needed a home tucked into her sweater. I had to stop her at five, but she found a home for one so we now have four cats and two dogs. The animals have thrived in our home.
What I have found though is that my animals have given so much to me. First, they are a very calming influence. There's nothing like coming home from a frustrating day to have a cat come and curl up on my lap and start purring. As I pat my cat I gradually calm down and begin to think clearly. My dog comes up on the couch beside me and lays against me. My heart slows down to a normal rate. I've heard that people who have animals live longer. I can understand why.
There's something else that my animals give me that was totally unexpected. They are very attuned to me. For example, one afternoon I was writing in my journal. I was struggling. What I wanted to say just wasn't coming out, but I kept at it. Then my little cat came and laid on my writing arm. No matter how many times I pushed her off she kept coming back and laying on my writing arm. Finally I got the message. Stop writing. I left what I was doing and came back to it the next day, and it flowed wonderfully. Apparently I was still processing what I wanted to write and needed the extra day. My cat knew and she told me in the only way she could, laying on my arm.
My dog has also been attuned to me. I have a book that I have been reading and have been pouring myself into. I have been reading and re-reading , highlighting and taking notes. Somehow my dog could feel my energy filling the book. When I was out he took the book and gnawed on it, perhaps wanting to feel closer to me. When I found what he had done I sat down with him and thanked him for his love and caring, but told him that chewing my book is not a good was to show me, and that I didn't want him to do that again. He could show me love and get close by sitting on the couch with me and cuddling. My sweet dog has never chewed a book before or since. And he cuddles with me all the time.
I have learned that my animals can feel my energy, react to it, and give me their own back. I have learned to be attuned to them and listen to what they are telling me. They have given me so much of themselves and made me more aware of myself. My dog has just come and curled up with me. I am passing along the energy he is giving me to you. It is pure. It is love.
Infinite Possibilities,
Barbara Scott
barb_scott_bc@yahoo.com
What I have found though is that my animals have given so much to me. First, they are a very calming influence. There's nothing like coming home from a frustrating day to have a cat come and curl up on my lap and start purring. As I pat my cat I gradually calm down and begin to think clearly. My dog comes up on the couch beside me and lays against me. My heart slows down to a normal rate. I've heard that people who have animals live longer. I can understand why.
There's something else that my animals give me that was totally unexpected. They are very attuned to me. For example, one afternoon I was writing in my journal. I was struggling. What I wanted to say just wasn't coming out, but I kept at it. Then my little cat came and laid on my writing arm. No matter how many times I pushed her off she kept coming back and laying on my writing arm. Finally I got the message. Stop writing. I left what I was doing and came back to it the next day, and it flowed wonderfully. Apparently I was still processing what I wanted to write and needed the extra day. My cat knew and she told me in the only way she could, laying on my arm.
My dog has also been attuned to me. I have a book that I have been reading and have been pouring myself into. I have been reading and re-reading , highlighting and taking notes. Somehow my dog could feel my energy filling the book. When I was out he took the book and gnawed on it, perhaps wanting to feel closer to me. When I found what he had done I sat down with him and thanked him for his love and caring, but told him that chewing my book is not a good was to show me, and that I didn't want him to do that again. He could show me love and get close by sitting on the couch with me and cuddling. My sweet dog has never chewed a book before or since. And he cuddles with me all the time.
I have learned that my animals can feel my energy, react to it, and give me their own back. I have learned to be attuned to them and listen to what they are telling me. They have given me so much of themselves and made me more aware of myself. My dog has just come and curled up with me. I am passing along the energy he is giving me to you. It is pure. It is love.
Infinite Possibilities,
Barbara Scott
barb_scott_bc@yahoo.com
Saturday, August 20, 2011
It's All About Attitude
It was such a nice morning today. My son was happy because he was going to stand up for his friend at his wedding and he was excited to be wearing a tux for the first time. I decided to clean the bathroom, not necessarily a sunny Saturday morning thing to do, but it's not so bad when the sun is shining in. After cleaning the sink I couldn't get the stopper back in the sink properly so I just took it out and left the drain wide open. Then I showered and got ready to greet my day. I was singing and moving as I got ready, all was good. When I was finished and putting everything away I picked up a spray bottle that I use for my hair, but I hadn't put the cap on properly and it fell off into the sink and down the open drain.
Now, at one time in my life I would have been upset with myself for having done such a thing, and mad at the situation. That cap was down beyond my fingers and completely blocking the drain so water wouldn't be able to go down. Today, however, I looked down the drain at the cap blocking it, and laughed. What an interesting situation to figure out. And how amazing that the cap fit in the drain perfectly.
My first attempt to get the cap out was to get a hair clip and put it down the drain to try to grab the cap. The cap kept slipping out of the clip and the result was the cap was pushed further down the drain. Oh dear. Not a good choice. That's okay, I had more alternatives.
Next I went downstairs and got a pair of pliers and two pieces of gum. You can see where this is going. When I got back into the bathroom I looked down the drain and saw that the cap had slid even further down the drain. Amazing. I didn't think it could go further. As I chewed the gum I put the pliers down the drain but the cap was now too far down for the pliers to reach. So I took the gum out of my mouth and got the long, thin hair clip and clipped the gum into the end of the hair clip. I put the hair clip into the drain and put it as far down as I could but the cap was out of reach. I looked around for something longer and saw a pen. I took the gum out of the hair clip and stuck it on the end of the pen. I put the pen down the drain but the cap was still too far down. Just then the pen slipped out of my fingers. Now I had a cap, a wad of gum, and a pen down my bathroom drain. All I could do was laugh at such a ridiculous situation.
Now what do I do? I didn't get upset or frustrated. That wouldn't have accomplished anything. It would probably have hindered any ideas I might have had, and would have ruined my perfectly good day. So I did what any one would do. I stuck my finger down the drain. I was able to catch the edge of the pen and ease it up and out. Unfortunately, the wad of gum was still in the drain. Well, I was in a slightly better position now than a moment earlier with only a cap and wad of gum in the drain. At least the pen was out. But I was running out of ideas. I had to do what I have always had trouble with, ask for help. I went and asked my border if he could help me. He rolled his eyes and came and looked down my drain. There was the cap and wad of gum even further down the drain. Then he left and came right back in with a coat hanger. What a great idea. I hadn't even considered using a coat hanger.
My border unraveled the coat hanger and ended up with a long wire with a slight hook on the end. I watched as he poked and jabbed in the drain. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to what he was doing but I had asked him for help and trusted him completely. I felt no urge to guide, instruct or offer suggestions. I just watched with confidence. Finally he turned to me and said we either had to take the drain apart from underneath or I had to learn to live with a cap in the drain. Okay. I could figure out how to take a drain apart. Then just as my border turned to me he shoved the wire down the drain one last time and jerked it out, and out flew the cap into my hands. I started to laugh. It was so amazing. I knew all I had to do was trust my border when I asked him for help. The gum was gone out of sight. That was okay, it should just get washed away.
I titled this blog It's All About Attitude. Here's why. Throughout the entire process of getting the cap out of the drain, I was laughing at the situation, and intrigued by how I was going to remedy it. I trusted that everything would work out even though I had no idea how. I am convinced that had I been frustrated over it all that cap would never have come out of the pipe so easily. And I certainly didn't end up with a ruined day because of a cap. Having a positive attitude made the whole situation into one of fun and exploration. My personal growth journey has been invaluable to me in helping me to change my attitude about the every day things. This step may seem small, but those little things grow until you're leaping into change and finally you find yourself soaring. My invitation to you is to come and soar with me. It starts with a single step.
Infinite Possibilities,
Barbara Scott
barb_scott_bc@yahoo.com
Now, at one time in my life I would have been upset with myself for having done such a thing, and mad at the situation. That cap was down beyond my fingers and completely blocking the drain so water wouldn't be able to go down. Today, however, I looked down the drain at the cap blocking it, and laughed. What an interesting situation to figure out. And how amazing that the cap fit in the drain perfectly.
My first attempt to get the cap out was to get a hair clip and put it down the drain to try to grab the cap. The cap kept slipping out of the clip and the result was the cap was pushed further down the drain. Oh dear. Not a good choice. That's okay, I had more alternatives.
Next I went downstairs and got a pair of pliers and two pieces of gum. You can see where this is going. When I got back into the bathroom I looked down the drain and saw that the cap had slid even further down the drain. Amazing. I didn't think it could go further. As I chewed the gum I put the pliers down the drain but the cap was now too far down for the pliers to reach. So I took the gum out of my mouth and got the long, thin hair clip and clipped the gum into the end of the hair clip. I put the hair clip into the drain and put it as far down as I could but the cap was out of reach. I looked around for something longer and saw a pen. I took the gum out of the hair clip and stuck it on the end of the pen. I put the pen down the drain but the cap was still too far down. Just then the pen slipped out of my fingers. Now I had a cap, a wad of gum, and a pen down my bathroom drain. All I could do was laugh at such a ridiculous situation.
Now what do I do? I didn't get upset or frustrated. That wouldn't have accomplished anything. It would probably have hindered any ideas I might have had, and would have ruined my perfectly good day. So I did what any one would do. I stuck my finger down the drain. I was able to catch the edge of the pen and ease it up and out. Unfortunately, the wad of gum was still in the drain. Well, I was in a slightly better position now than a moment earlier with only a cap and wad of gum in the drain. At least the pen was out. But I was running out of ideas. I had to do what I have always had trouble with, ask for help. I went and asked my border if he could help me. He rolled his eyes and came and looked down my drain. There was the cap and wad of gum even further down the drain. Then he left and came right back in with a coat hanger. What a great idea. I hadn't even considered using a coat hanger.
My border unraveled the coat hanger and ended up with a long wire with a slight hook on the end. I watched as he poked and jabbed in the drain. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to what he was doing but I had asked him for help and trusted him completely. I felt no urge to guide, instruct or offer suggestions. I just watched with confidence. Finally he turned to me and said we either had to take the drain apart from underneath or I had to learn to live with a cap in the drain. Okay. I could figure out how to take a drain apart. Then just as my border turned to me he shoved the wire down the drain one last time and jerked it out, and out flew the cap into my hands. I started to laugh. It was so amazing. I knew all I had to do was trust my border when I asked him for help. The gum was gone out of sight. That was okay, it should just get washed away.
I titled this blog It's All About Attitude. Here's why. Throughout the entire process of getting the cap out of the drain, I was laughing at the situation, and intrigued by how I was going to remedy it. I trusted that everything would work out even though I had no idea how. I am convinced that had I been frustrated over it all that cap would never have come out of the pipe so easily. And I certainly didn't end up with a ruined day because of a cap. Having a positive attitude made the whole situation into one of fun and exploration. My personal growth journey has been invaluable to me in helping me to change my attitude about the every day things. This step may seem small, but those little things grow until you're leaping into change and finally you find yourself soaring. My invitation to you is to come and soar with me. It starts with a single step.
Infinite Possibilities,
Barbara Scott
barb_scott_bc@yahoo.com
Friday, August 19, 2011
My Wellness Team
This week I have learned the incredible benefits of of having a strong wellness team in place. By wellness team I mean those people who you can go to when you are triggered by something. My wellness team includes my chiropractor, my physiotherapist, my reflexologist, and my facilitators. Your wellness team might include a psychologist, a massage therapist, an acupuncturist, or a councilor. Why, you might ask, would you need all these people on your team? You do just fine all on your own. Besides, you've got a good friend that you can talk to. Well, that's what I learned this week.
On Tuesday something happened in my life that totally turned everything I believe to be true upside down. I was left reeling. Tuesday evening I was in a state of befuddlement, sadness, betrayal, confusion, disappointment, and panic. The first thing I did was go to a class I happened to have scheduled that talked about emotions and feelings. It helped me to allow myself to go through some of my feelings, and that the only way to move past my emotions was to actually allow myself to feel them. It was a good start. I went home and sat with my emotions and did some crying.
On Wednesday I woke up feeling very down. Every time I thought about what happened I welled up. I didn't back down from these emotions but allowed myself to feel them. My neuralgia was starting to bother me. When I get stressed I often carry it inside and it manifests as pain in my body. So in the morning I went to see my chiropractor. He was able to adjust me so that some of the tension and stress I was carrying in my neck and shoulders was released. I felt more relaxed when I walked out. That afternoon I saw my facilitator. We talked for an hour and I cried like my heart was breaking. My facilitator was caring, nonjudgmental, and she held my feet to the fire when that was what I needed. It was different than talking with a friend. A friend might have tried to give me advice or just tell me everything will be okay. That's okay sometimes, but not what I needed at that moment. It was a challenging hour with my facilitator, facing how I was really feeling, but at the end of the hour I had come out the other side and was able to surrender the feelings I had just gone through. I went home feeling like I had been through much of my emotion, but still feeling down. It was hard to smile. I had more to go through.
Thursday morning I was still processing all that I had been through the day before, but I woke up feeling much more myself. I felt like a huge load had been lifted during the night. My body had been busy processing while I slept. I had an appointment with my physiotherapist booked so I went knowing that everything was falling into place beautifully. My physiotherapist did some relaxation with me, and did some needling in my muscles to relax them. This procedure also helped my body to process much of what I had gone through the day before. When it was over I was able to move with more freedom and breathe easier. And then in the afternoon I went to my facilitator-in-training. She and I were able to move beyond what I had been through the day before because I had already been through it. And then to help my body release and process this second facilitation I had a reflexology session. Laying back, glass of water at my side, having various points on my feet stimulated, I felt good, really good, for the first time since Tuesday.
So now here I am, on Friday, feeling pretty good, no pain anywhere, and ready to face what's changed my life head on. I can think clearly and am ready to accept whatever life has to give me. I have no idea what the outcome will be, but I do know that everything will turn out okay. I am so grateful to my entire wellness team. I know that in the past when something so huge and life changing has hit me I have been in terrible pain for weeks or even months. But here I am, feeling sure and confident and pain free, only three days after the event. I would never have been in such a positive place if not for the support of all of these people. They have been invaluable in not just bringing me back to myself, but in guiding me to use this incident to grow as a person. I encourage you to gather your own wellness team around you. Perhaps it will include me as a facilitator-in-training, maybe not. But the main thing is to gather knowledgeable people around you who will support you whenever you are triggered by something so that you can deal with it quickly and efficiently and grow as a person.
Infinite Possibilities
Barbara Scott
barb_scott_bc@yahoo.com
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